Tuesday July 7th I Lost Three Things my fallopian tube, my baby, and whatever strength I had left in me.

Tuesday, I lost three things: my fallopian tube, my baby, and whatever strength I had left in me.

The surgeons told me my body will take about eight weeks to heal, but we both know it will take far longer than that for my heart to ever feel whole again.

Everything happened so quickly. One moment we were rejoicing over the news that we were pregnant again, and less than 24 hours later I was facing the devastating reality of another ectopic pregnancy. This time it was life threatening. They discovered internal bleeding, and I was rushed by ambulance to another hospital because the first one wasn’t equipped to perform the emergency surgery.

In an instant, my whole world turned upside down. I was suddenly faced with an unimaginable reality and an even harder decision one that ultimately came down to my life or the pregnancy. Because of the internal bleeding, they feared I had experienced a rupture and that surgery needed to be performed immediately. I wasn’t in any emotional or physical state to make that decision, so I leaned on my husband to make it for me.

I also called my best friend, needing someone to help steady me while everything around me was falling apart. The cry that came out of me that day, the agony, heartbreak, and grief is something I can still hear so clearly.

During surgery, it was confirmed that my tube had ruptured and they could not save my right fallopian tube.

I’m still trying to make sense of everything. I’m still grieving. I’m still asking questions I may never have answers to. What I do know is this: I could not have survived this without my husband. He never left my side. He prayed over me, held my hand through it all, and comforted me in my brokenness. He was so strong in my weakness, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted.

Over the next several weeks, I’ll be resting, processing, grieving, and healing as much as I can physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The pain from the surgery has been agonizing, and I’ve already broken down in tears several times because of how limited my mobility has been.

Please keep us in your prayers. If we’re not responsive, now you know why.