This Years Birthday is Different ❤️‍🩹

This birthday is different, a lot has happened this past year, so much good, and an equal share of heartbreak. ❤️‍🩹

Usually, when my birthday comes around, I have some deep reflection or profound lesson to share. This year, though, for me is different as I’m in process.

I feel like I’ve changed. Maybe that’s for the better. It’s hard to tell if what I’m feeling is growth, grief, pain, or emotions I haven’t fully processed yet. Perhaps it’s a little of all of them.

What I do know is this: I am deeply grateful for life even if it’s a life I don’t fully understand. I’m grateful for my husband, the man who continues to love me more deeply every day. And for every single person who has loved us, prayed for us, and carried us through one of the hardest seasons of my life.

Regarding my recent near death experience and loss we received more than 500 comments, calls, texts, and messages. I read every single one. Even if I wasn’t able to respond, please know that your words reached me. I remember the kindness that was shown to us, and it meant more than I can put into words.

I hope that one day I’ll be able to fully articulate everything I’ve been thinking and feeling in this season. But for now, I’m allowing myself to simply exist. These times I’m trying to embrace the peace and rest that gently finds me whenever I let my mind be still.