I’m not where I’m going but I’m a long way from where I once was

Saturday, I finally made a dent in my packing. One of the very last places I had left to pack, sort, and toss was the items in my closet. I touched a box I hadn’t looked at in over a year, it was filled with over a decade of photographed memories. Seconds after I lifted the box from the top of my closet the box tipped over and all photos fell out with it. I broke down crying hard. I didn’t want to see those photos, I didn’t want to gather those memories off the ground, I wanted to keep it buried in that box. I cried for a very long time on my closet floor, most of my tears where me crying out to God to heal me and comfort me, but the other half of it was acceptance. I’ve known for a while now that my struggle to pack was associated with my acceptance of this season ending for good. After the tears dried and I could finally get up without breaking down every 5 seconds, I realized the reason why the box fell open wasn’t just by happenstance, it fell because I was never meant to carry it, the weight of everything associated with the memories in that box was supposed to be given and released a long time ago. It is time to let go completely, truthfully I thought I had but maybe I was just trying to convince myself that I had.... Those of you who have watched my ig stories have probably seen this video at the beginning of the year where I mentioned I needed to clean and purge my closet because God told me “where he is taken me, my past can’t come with me.” “He’s trying to give me something that will require more of the me he has created and less of the me that I have degraded.” I can tell you, unlike man, he has kept his promises through and through and has given me everything he promised he would. I am moving to a bigger place, I am moving into a different space, I have gotten promoted and I am being freed throughout all of it. It’s a ugly and painful process and there is a lot of hurt associated with it but I am healing. Every tear that has fallen from my eyes have been met with loving acceptance from a caring father, that desires nothing more than to bottle them up and heal me. “I’m not yet where I am going but I am a long way from where I was” praise God! 🤍