Most days I am proud of myself on how I persevered through all the suffering I have experienced. But some days I struggle and ask God why do I have to feel the pain, what did I do to deserve this? But I am learning more that these hard times I have encounter post divorce are a result of two things.
1. Me getting into a marriage I shouldn’t have thinking I could save a man, who didn’t want to be saved. Truthfully even if he did, Jesus is the only one who saves and set free. “Love covers a multitude of sin” but it was never meant to be my love and blood it was always meant to be HIS.
2. These pains exist because this had to take place in order for me to be back in alignment with my ABBA. He cares for me and my ex so much that he took a broken thing and tore us completely apart without attachments so he could grow the both of us. Never to be reunited, but to be whole with him filling in our own individual gaps.
I see things so much clearer now. I have more answers to the pain I endured within my marriage then I ever had inside of it.
This is what true jealous love looks like. He loved me so much he broke a part of me so he could have all of me fully instead of pieces of me.